January 7, 2012 by agooddaytoyou
First song for the blog – So What? by Pink
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, well actually I hope there are no boys and girls reading this because I am about to get nastier than a drag queen coming off acid. (For all of you that don’t know what that is like, let’s just say it’s not pretty. At all.)
But for this post I would like you to have a full glass of something (I would suggest wine, but I am a lush so that isn’t a surprise.) so you can join me in a toast. Don’t worry; I will wait here for you to get back. You have 5 minutes, and GO!
And we are back, so to the toast. *cough cough* Please raise your glass and join me in a toast to all the cunts I have ever loved before. CHEERS *takes a drink*
I, like a lot of people I’m sure, have made many mistakes when it comes to the world of dating. By mistakes I mean dating stupid guys who wasted my time and self esteem.
So *raises glass again* here’s to the cunt that told me my penis was too small. You know what; maybe your arse was just a road a little too well travelled? And you know what else, who’s single and alone now biatch? *takes a drink*
Next please share a drink with me to the ones that made me feel like I wasn’t worth the effort to make time for. Just so we are clear, I am awesome! *just a sip this time*
And lastly the ones that just decided that they ‘weren’t sure what they wanted’ after 5 dates or ‘weren’t ready’. *goes to take another drink and realises the glass is empty*
Bear with *holds up index finger*. Bear with…… *wanders off to get more wine* And I’m back.
I should also make the following point and toast, I am sure that I am on a few guys lists for the same things. I’m not perfect, but I do try as hard as possible.
I have made my share of mistakes as I was learning who I was and what I wanted from this life. Hell, to be honest there are still some days I am pretty sure I don’t have even close to figured out. Others I wake up with a little strut in my step and think I own the world. Then a bird poops on me.
My darling Thursday refers to this as ‘Dating Karma’. Always try to send out what you want to receive back. I always tried to treat the men in my life with respect and dignity, the way I wanted to be treated.
I should also make it clear that I regret nothing, well, OK, maybe that guy with the penis the size of a cheerio who took less time to cum than it takes me to brush my teeth, but I digress. The time and energy I put into the relationship with each of them taught me something. A lesson about how not to get your heart broken or getting to know someone better before agree to go to an awkward event with them and needing to call a friend with a 911 so you can get the hell away from the FREAKS! But each one of those men taught me what to expect when I found myself in a ‘normal’ relationship. #
Was there a point to this blog? Not really, partly I just wanted to use the cunt word and secondly I just wanted to make a point that whatever you send out there you get back. I like to think the things I learnt and the people I met have led me to where I am today. Dating karma must work, because I got my Tuesday and Thursday got Friday. What more proof do you need?
And on that thought, I am off to cuddle my darling Tuesday in bed. He’s already asleep but he won’t mind.
Oh one last thing for all the boys. MWAH – Gives You Hell by All American Rejects
#We all know that normal is just a cycle on a washing machine, but what I am getting at is a mature relationship based on love, respect and honesty.