Viva la resolution!

Leave a comment

December 23, 2011 by agooddaytoyou

This is going to be FRIDAY and I, all next year...

I know I have one more Thursday left in the year (and therefore one more Thursday post) but I’ve decided to make this my RESOLUTIONS FOR 2012 POST. YES!

This post will encapsulate everything I am going to be and achieve next year. In 2012, with the help of these posted resolutions, I will truly become the sort of person I have always wanted to be.

As a result of this post, 2012 will ultimately become the best year of my life and that is all there is to it.

So, heretofore, without further ado, here is my list of resolutions, in order of no particular importance:

1. Hang out the washing as soon as the cycle is finished. Otherwise you will end up with smelly too-long-sitting-in-the machine clothe or no nice clothes at all, meaning you have to turn to your B-team clothes and end up looking like a homeless person at work.

2. Finally acknowledge to yourself that cheese is not essential at every meal. It is delicious, but your arteries are now filled with cheese and 2012 is not the year you are going to die from a heart attack and everyone will mourn you but also be secretly appalled and disgusted that you had a heart-attack when you weren’t even 30 because you ate so much cheese.

3. Stop buying onesies on the internet. That’s it, just stop buying them. No one needs six onesies. And buying them on the internet risks the dreaded camel-toe issue that you only discover once the onesie is in your possession and then you know you are too lazy to return them because you’d have to post a parcel back to America and so then you are just stuck with ill-fitting onesies.

4. Stop getting so angry with wait-people if they do not provide very good service. It’s not very nice and it’s unladylike. It’s not the wait-person’s fault that they are a moron stuck in a stupid, hopeless job of servitude.

5. Charge your phone at night when you go to bed. Otherwise you know one morning you’ll end up in a life-threatening situation and you’ll only have 10% battery. Go on, just lean over and pop it on the charger. Be brave.

6. Don’t buy a car. As easy as they would make life, you are bad at taking care of cars and you turn them into a horrible money pit death trap. Continue walking everywhere.

7. Continue to love the cat very much and stop talking about wishing she were gone so you could get two kittens. The cat can hear you, you are giving her low self-esteem. Actually, that’s impossible, but she might hate you so much she will run away and then Friday will be so mad at you.

8. Save $20 per pay for the future. Surely you can save a meagre $20??? Yes, you’ve not been able to before, but 2012 is going to be YOUR YEAR.You can do it.

9. Stop writing posts on Friday when your day is actually THURSDAY. Friday morning is not Thursday. Of course, at the moment (pre-Christmas festivities moment) every Thursday night is filled withalcohol and bad food, making it difficult to sit down and write a post, but all of that will change in 2012 when every night will be spent in quiet, sober contemplation and you will have plenty of time on a THURSDAY to write a THURSDAY post.

10. Continue to love all the good-day-to-you’ers in the manner to which they have become accustomed (excitably and with food involved)



Leave a Reply, if you want

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 6 other followers

%d bloggers like this: